You know how everyone says that porn is nothing like real sex? Well, that’s true in the kink world too.
I think sometimes people get this idea that we kinksters exist in this world of black leather and red velvet, clad in rubber bodysuits and leather gimp masks.
And I understand where they would get this image. We have all this erotica that’s extreme and wild – people being hunted down and fucked until they cum so hard they pass out, people being wooed by enigmatically dominant people, even people being sold into sexy slavery. (Please note: None of us are so stupid as to think that non-consensual rape or sexual slavery in real life is sexy. We may enjoy the role-play, but not the reality.)
If you go to a party, you’ll actually see people with full fetish gear, with beatings in every corner, the s-types in cages or on leashes or chained to something. If you read the erotic versions of “high protocol” that float around the internet, you would think that every s-type must spend half their time on their knees, asking permission to do anything.
And, I mean, yeah, sometimes we do those things.
But we also grow old and have bad knees that make it hard to kneel. We have busy lives that make it impossible to afford the luxury of several open hours to spend chained to a toilet. We have houses to clean and family to visit and kids to raise and jobs to go to.
We’re people.
Sure, we’d love to spend every day in harnesses and chains, just like you’d like to spend every day lounging on a bed of roses having someone sexy feed you grapes. But we can’t because real life.
So when you start into your kinky exploration, set your expectations a little lower. Sure, there will kinky fuckery where your darkest fantasy itches get scratched, but there will also be lazy nights cuddling and watching Netflix because you’re both too tired to do anything else.
Love the ordinary moments. They are what make this lifestyle real.
